8 months old and 35 days at home with our little one!

We have been home for one month and five days. Lots of bonding has been occuring, as well as, sickness. Eliza has met both sets of grandparents, some cousins, an uncle and an aunt. She is adjusting and we are learning lots about each other. Today, while at the mall in a highly populated Asian section of our state I realized that we still have much more bonding and attachment issues to come. Let me set the scenario for you, over this last week, we have been calling and interviewing people for infant daycare. Daycare is hard to find in our area and infant daycare is just about impossible. Thankgoodness, my mom is willing to care for her until we are able to find someone that we feel comfortable with. We have waited to long, just to pick someone...more on this later. Eliza was getting fussy, so I sat down on a mall bench. I was trying to playing with her, singing nusery rhymes but she was not interested in me but rather the person behind me. She started (ever so cutely) tilting her head, trying to engage this women in interaction. I turn around and it is 40 or 50 year old Asian woman with short but well done black hair. She starts calling out "I...E..." which means nanny or auntie is Chinese. She then proceeds to put out her hands for her. At that moment, I was devestated. I had taught her how to use her hands, I had taught her how to hold her hands out for someone when she wanted to go to that person. The jealousy in me was mounting. That is not "IE" I told Eliza. Omi and Mommy are right here. I told my mom, lets go this is hard on her. Eliza's eyes were taken off of this ladeis view by my utter chatter but then she began searching again for this stranger.

This reminds me everyday she is learning and enjoying our company but she is still grieving. She still remembers even at her young age. She still understands the Chinese language and gets excited when someone speaks "her' language. I need to continue to let her grieve comfort her, read books about her transition both for myself and for her. Remind myself she is still transitioning and will be for a while.

Earlier this week, I did cry for her, realizing that at four weeks that work gives you for adoption Eliza nor I was ready for me to return to work. My job afforded me the opportunity to take family leave without pay. It was well worth the sarcfice.

Eliza has enriched our lives and introduction to our extended "f" family went well but it was interesting in the redefining of roles. It was hard on Eliza and on our other little girl. More on that in another post.

Thank you to all for your well wishes and I hope to post some pictures of pure sweetness in the next fewdays. She is not only sweet looking but her heart is sweet and will wrap you in your heart or your gut like a piece of yummy candy. Yes, we are IN LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!